By Sharon Muza, BS, CD(DONA), BDT(DONA) LCCE, FACCE, CLE
In my years as a birth doula, I’ve had a lot of potential client interviews. With around 460 births behind me, I estimate that I have conducted at least 1,000 interviews- probably more, but 1,000 is a nice round number for the sake of this conversation. (In case anyone loves to run the numbers as I do, assuming each interview lasts one hour, that equals a full-time job, 40 hours a week, for one year, just doing interviews!)
I live in Seattle, WA and many birthing families are fairly “doula savvy”. There are hundreds and hundreds (and hundreds?) of doulas in the Seattle metro area. When looking for a doula, it’s very common for families to set up more than one doula interview, typically meeting three doulas on average, before they make their doula decision.
Sometimes I am the first doula they interview and sometimes I am the last. The entire process can take a few weeks to work through, between setting up and coordinating schedules among the three different doulas and the family. And then there is always the possibility of needing to reschedule due to births. When I am the first doula to be interviewed, the family often advises me that they may need two to three weeks to be able to complete the process and make a decision. When I am the last doula interviewed, the process is more abbreviated.
I always wonder if there is an advantage to being interviewed first? Or does the advantage go to the last doula interviewed? By doula number three, have they forgotten me and my brilliant doula abilities as the time passes since our meeting? How do I stay fresh in their minds as they continue with the interview process? Do their memories of me fade? Are they most dazzled by the last doula they meet? If I go somewhere in the middle, what does that mean? Is that a good spot or not? Is there a benefit to going last? Will that doula leave the best impression?
What if they love me? What if we both feel like it is a perfect match? Do they go on to continue to interview the other scheduled doulas? Do they seal the deal and cancel the other interviews? What should my strategy be? Should I interview as soon as possible after we connect? Should I strategically try to go last?
I truly believe that there is a doula for every type of family. I also know that I am not the perfect doula for everyone. I am totally fine with that. But when it feels like a good fit, I constantly analyze where I am in the process, wondering if I have put myself at an advantage or a disadvantage. I wonder if I should be using some strategy for when I interview during the overall process.
What do you think about my ponderings? Have you ever wondered the same things? Do you have more data than I do on this process? If you are a family, looking for a doula, how has the process played out for you? This is something that I have wondered for many years and I am curious to discuss this with others. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. I look forward to our discussion.
I often wonder the same thing. I am part of a group that holds ” speed dating” style interviews. Where potential clients come and get about 10 min. with 5-6 Doulas. I wonder after talking to that many Doulas in a row if they feel overwhelmed and forget who is who and if the person they talk to last is the one who sticks in their head. In our group there is one who tends to go last most often, usually because she’s running late, and she does get picked most often. Is it because she goes last or just her awesomeness??
I have been part of speed dating style and yes – I found that last often is picked. I think the first interviews folks are still learning the role of the doula and by the end they are looser and can have more fun with that person.
Thanks for covering this important topic!
I think you are not alone in your musings!
I come from a somewhat theatrical family. While auditions are not the same as doula interviews, there may be similarities. At auditions, it often seemed to me that being the first, if you were right for the part, set a bar that someone else would have to be able to jump over. If you are right, they see you in the role. Those that follow would need to be better than you for you to be replaced. Over the last 25 years I am often glad to go first and it seems like it works to my favor. Who knows?! Maybe one of you do! I am interested to hear other thoughts.
I completely think the way Connie does. When you make a really good impression, I think that sets the bar high for the rest of the interviews. I think it may have worked to my advantage as well . . . but it truly is hard to know!
More often than not, I think this has been the case for me, as well, Connie. Although, I know that with a recent client who interviewed several doulas, I was the last interviewed – but I was also referred to this family by a “three-peat” client (I was her doula for all three of her children’s births), and the prospective family intentionally waited to interview me last, which I found to be an interesting approach on their part.
Connie, lovely perspective. I think being the best match is what makes the hire real. Having been through auditions as well, the first only sets the bar high, if that was a good match. If not, that bar has not been set at all. At the end of the day, if you’re a good match for the client then, really, you’re unforgettable. even if ten come after you. Sharon, I adore the musings 🙂
I’ve pondered this for years. I know for me, when I go last I always get the job.
When I’m first I only get the job 50% of the time I think. They forget, how awesome you are and what a great interview you had many times if you go first.
I wish people knew that if they meet a doula they like, they can just hire her and stop interviewing others. Why waste everyone’s time? It’s not marriage!
I have no strategy. I go in with an open heart. I listen to them. I share what I know and hope to connect with them in the future. I go with the flow. I love when they hire me on the spot, but I also love when they shop around and then decide to go with me. Sometimes they opt to go with someone less expensive and that is their choice. For me, I have to feel a connection. If it’s not there, I let them know that I am not the right doula for them and refer them out to someone else. Thank you for sharing your thought.
Perhaps we should poll clients about the number of doulas they interviewed and the numerical placement of the one they chose. Also, include questions on which qualities of factors tilted their decision. DoulaMatch might be a good place to post the poll. Also ask for other thughts about interviewing and selecting doulas.