Is it your time to become a birth or postpartum doula? It’s an incredible calling! Recently, DONA International asked me to reflect on what doula life has meant to me. We spend so much time thinking about our clients’ needs– as it should be; but this is a sweet opportunity to reflect on all the reasons I love being a doula. I’m grateful for all of the gifts doula work has brought into my life, and I hope it can give you a peek of what might be ahead for you, too.
1) I get to make a living serving families at an amazing time in their lives. There really isn’t a better job I could imagine! Birth and settling in with a new baby are incredible transitions in our human existence. What could be a bigger one than becoming a parent? Research tells us these memories last a lifetime. As doulas, it’s our job to ease that transition and to keep in mind the family’s comfort and emotional needs. We play such a unique role on the perinatal care team! Taking care of other families helps me to support my own family financially. That’s a total win-win.
2) Immediate feedback. In my former professional life, sometimes I’d work for months on a project before getting any feedback. That was always tough for me to wonder for so long if I was getting it right. As a doula, I can usually see very quickly how my support makes a difference. For example, imagine a postpartum client trying to master a laid back nursing position. When she and her baby make it happen, we celebrate her little one’s awesome instincts and this newly comfortable nursing position. Yes! They did it! Or during a birth, whenever I’m able to find just the right spot on a client’s back to ease the pain, or when I help a birth partner get comfortable in their role, I can see right away that I’ve made an impact.
3) It humbles me. Boy, just when you think you have birth or babies all figured out, along comes a curve ball that breaks all the rules. Except the one rule really should be– that there are no rules. I’ve learned to live with fewer absolutes. I’m humbled by the unknown, by the incredible courage and grace of families, and by the power of life.
4) The hours and business structure are flexible. I love working for myself. Being a doula gives me the flexibility to decide how much work I’d like to take on and when. Are you a postpartum doula who only wants to work between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.? That’s doable! Or maybe you’re a birth doula who wants to take four clients a month, 10 months a year? You can make it happen! I’ve shared call time with a partner doula when it fit best with my life, I’ve and worked as a solo doula when that felt right instead. We can work on our own, in partnerships, in groups, agencies and collectives. Every doula gets to choose! Now for sure, the exact time a baby arrives isn’t completely predictable, but I’ve found that being a doula really allows a surprising amount of flexibility.
5) Lifelong learning. Every birth and postpartum client teaches me something new. And often that learning leads me to some curiosity that I want to explore even more. I’ve taken advanced trainings on fetal positioning, postpartum mood disorders, newborn sleep, the rebozo, supporting LGBT families, VBAC, grief and loss, communication, breastfeeding and more. There’s so much to learn, I can imagine ever being “done.” I love it!
6) Powerful connections to other birth workers. I adore doulas. There is something so special about the people who choose this work. I’m blessed with an amazing local community of birth workers, and DONA International has also given me the opportunity to connect with some incredible doulas around the world. I’ve laughed with my doula peeps, cried with them, learned with them (and from them), encouraged them and received support in return. I’ve worked in all sorts of fields but I’ve never experienced this level of intense connection to my colleagues.
7) Saturday mornings at the farmer’s market. My family dislikes coming to the local farmer’s market with me because to hear them tell it, I stop every five feet to talk with somebody. I can’t help it! This is where I see so many of my former clients. And of course we need to stop and talk and hug, and I get to see their amazing little ones. I really enjoy telling children about how excited their parents were to meet them, and all the love I saw in their eyes when they looked at their sweet baby. It’s precious to see families growing and developing into each new stage. The farmer’s market is just one example of this connection from my own life. Other doulas tell me that, like me, they bump into clients any time they’re out and about – at the bank, at a festival, shopping, exercising, and just about anywhere. I feel like every client has a little piece of my heart forever, and it’s such a treat to see them out and about.
8) Endless professional opportunities. You might not be thinking so far ahead just yet, but more than a decade into this career I can tell you that it has blossomed in ways I never expected. I’m a birth doula, postpartum doula, childbirth educator, birth doula trainer, and I also provide business trainings for doulas. I’ve recently developed a niche offering hands-on labor skills trainings for nurses. Being associated with DONA International in particular has been excellent for my career! It’s such a well-known, highly respected organization. Other doulas go on to become midwives, authors, educators or speakers, and some veer off into the medical realm to become nurses, midwives or doctors. Being a doula is an amazing career in and of itself, but it also opens up so many possibilities to follow your passions in countless directions. How will your journey evolve?
9) My boys get to learn a lot about birth and babies! I don’t have daughters, but I am raising boys who already know a lot about physiologic birth, the appropriate role of technology, the importance of postpartum nurture, lactation and newborn feeding, and all the things that someone might do with a placenta. I know my boys will be better birth partners, healthcare advocates and fathers someday because their mom was a doula. I’ve had opportunities to interact with their friends too, and to help them understand more about evidence-based birth and parenting. My doula colleagues who have girls experience many of the same opportunities with their daughters, plus the chance to plant positive seeds about birth and parenting for them and their friends. We’re helping to shape the next generation, and that’s incredible.
10) Secret doula ninja skills I pull out on just about everyone. All. The. Time. Once you are a doula, you really can’t help it. You will use your doula skills all the time. I asked a friend just the other day, “What was that like for you?” (She happens to be a doula too, so she laughed before she answered!) I’ll stop to sit and listen to people where I might never have done that before. One of my favorite doulaing-off-duty memories is working with my husband to apply a giant, four-foot adhesive Death Star to my son’s bedroom wall. Somehow, the decoration folded in on itself and the adhesive stuck it together, almost folded in half. My husband was seconds away from crumpling the entire (ridiculously expensive!) thing and calling it quits, when I stopped him with some doula talk. “Hold on, honey. Take a breath. OK, we can do this. All is not lost. Let’s do it together. That’s it. Pull your side a little more, just like that. Look! It’s working!” He stopped and gave me a look. “Could you stop doulaing me, please?” Ha! Sorry honey! Can’t turn it off. Besides, it was working. Doulas every day, for everyone! Someone come doula me too, please!
If you’re thinking about taking the leap into doula work, what gifts are you hoping to find in this work? If you are already a doula, did I hit on some of the things you love too? Do you have other ideas to add, perhaps a number 11 for this list? Leave me a comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
About the Author
Jessica English is a birth and postpartum doula and a DONA-approved birth doula trainer. She is the owner of Birth Kalamazoo, Michigan’s first and largest doula agency. Jessica had a doula for her births, but she’d also love to have one for her life. She runs Heart | Soul | Business, and you can learn more at heartsoulbusiness.com.
Thank you for this wonderful list! I laughed out loud after reading number 10! I am an herbalist with aspirations of becoming a doula. I feel blending the two would be a dream come true for me. I look back on my own pregnancy with my son 6 years ago and I wish more than anything I had hired a doula. I experienced a lot of fear and anxiety during my pregnancy because of his breach presentation. I felt a bit lost and gave my power to make decisions to others. After my C-Section I felt very alone, in a great amount of pain, and struggled with breastfeeding. I now want to be that support for other people welcoming a baby into their life that I missed out on. I now know that pregnancy and birth is one of the most natural things this life has blessed us with and we must move away from fear-based thinking when it comes to the gift of growing and giving life. You definitely inspired me further to embark on the journey of becoming a doula. Thank you!
Thank You Jessica for talking about your experiences and showing us how being a Doula positively effects your life. — Thank You @Melanie Brown for sharing your story as well. Much peace & love to you & your family; I’m glad you came out of that dark tunnel, stronger and happier =D
I am a Kundalini Yoga Teacher & Graduate Student of Clinical Psychology (with a specialization in Spiritual & Depth Psychology). I spend a lot of my time with children (5y – 19y), majorly, children in the foster youth community. I intend to bring the power of awareness of breath to our society. I intend to highlight the benefits and necessity of movement and conscious breathing, so that it becomes a treatment that doctors regularly prescribe. Merging psychology and yoga is the plan. Further delivering tools & techniques to assist people on their personal journey of Self-Care & Self-Understanding & One Love.
Around last week’s bright & misty full moon, the Universe sent me a clear message. I want to be a Doula. I want to be apart of that loving presence that greets a spirit when they come to this planet in physical form. To see Spirit upon arrival, to welcome this pure energy into the world. To ensure emotional well being for the child before they emerge into their experience on Earth.. “away” from Source.
Yes! Sign me up!!
— I’m in LA, do you have a training that you’d recommend? Right now I am looking at the upcoming Feb/March trainings, with either Atoosa Benji in Santa Monica, or Christine Cleary in Burbank, or Ana Paula Markel with BiniBirth.com. —
I loved this! Thank you for sharing! I’m getting ready to attend my workshop and I’m so excited to be on the doula path. I know that this is the right course for me and your words just confirmed so many of my thoughts. I love the idea of participating in such a special moment for families, to help guide them and watch their joy. I also am a huge proponent of natural birth and my hope is to share the message with others. I want women to know that they are not limited to a hospital birth with an epidural. There are so many other options that can make the birth experience so empowering. Thanks again for your uplifting words.
As I read Jessica’s words, I kept thinking, yes. Yep. That too. Right on. I think I would have written the same post – and then I remembered that Jessica and I became DONA doula trainers at the same time and collaborate often. There is a reason we think/feel so much alike so often.
For me personally, reasons 3 and 10 go hand-in-hand. The humility I have learned through this career and the skills I am still mastering make my experience of life and the people and purpose in it more rich and rewarding.
Love reading about your experience & thank for sharing!! I will began my Doula training, next week!
This was wonderful!! I loved it!
Thank you for sharing your experiences as a doula. Reading this has solidified my decision in pursing this unique career. These are some of the same reasons I chose to approach this path, and of course a few of my own ideas which I plan on implementing ASAP! I am so excited to begin this journey!
You are so amazing. I sm fortunate to have met and learned from you. ❤
I vibed with this so much, I am finally taking the next step and going to look for a trainer in my area!
I have been drawn to this as a career on and off and after many years in the ‘corporate world’ I have been led to a conclusion that it’s time for me to do something that I will feel absolutely fulfilled. Over the past year and a half I have been growing and developing my mindset and I’ve experienced an incredible shift. Everything you wrote, is ME. I absolutely feel excited when I read what role a Doula plays. I am going to proceed with getting certified. I have just made my mind up that it’s calling me too much not to listen. I am not happy in my current line of work, I have so much to offer, and know in my heart this would just fill me up so much. Thank you so much.
Thank you for posting this! I am on the path to becoming a doula soon!
Thanks again!!
What a exciting career! Thanx for sharing.